Somehow another month has passed since I last posted. Here I thought this pregnancy was dragging and now a month has flown by without me even realizing it! We did end up to the early gender test after all. In the moment when the lab tech asked if we would be doing the test or not I made a silly pouty face at Eric. I was totally playing and we had already discussed we would be waiting to do the test (which I was totally fine with). Eric was feeling generous in the moment. Just an hour before we went in he got a call that he was promoted to the Conroe store as Store Manager. He told the tech to draw the extra blood for test! I was so excited! I was stressed that when it came time to do the gender ultrasound that the little one might not cooperate and we wouldn't get a confident answer. The blood test is over 98% accurate and as a bonus we got to find out 5-8 weeks early. We are happy to announce that Claire is going to have a baby BROTHER! Luke Thomas Westerman! I was shocked when I heard it was a boy. I always wanted one of each, but was totally fine and so was Eric with having all girls. We knew that 2 kids is what we wanted (unless God has other plans) and no matter what this baby was we were going to be "done". I kept thinking it would be another girl. After loosing the little one in February I kind of thought maybe that was our boy. We are so happy to be having one of each. I'm not real sure yet what to do with a boy, haha. No bows? No dresses? What am I going to do? Leaving the house will be so much faster! I love knowing what the baby is early. It truly helps us as a family bond with the baby more, especially with Claire. We call him by name, tell Claire about baby Luke. We don't say "the baby", we say Luke! I think waiting to find out until the day the baby is born would be amazing, but the day we found out with both kids was an amazing day as a family.
With Claire rapidly approaching 2 it dawned on me the other day that I haven't worked in nearly 2 years! It feels like only yesterday I had a job outside the home and at the same time feels like a million years ago. I worked in a very corporate environment and really did enjoy my job for the most part (of course nothing could every compare to being a stay at home mom). Anyway, before I had kids part of me wanted to stay home and the other part of me wanted to have it all. The family and the career. I really put my all into my job and tried to move up the ladder. For the first few years I felt like I kept hitting wall after wall. Never going anywhere. Several years in, the company I was working for announced they were opening up a new division. Something in me felt led to speak up and say I wanted to be a part of that division. I was so excited when they eagerly said I could be a part of the division. I thought this was finally my chance. God had opened a door for me to climb the ladder. Getting in on something from basically the ground up and being one of the firsts involved. I told myself to put my all into it and learn everything and every angle I could. Looking back I know I was naive to think hard work and being one of the firsts was all it was going to take, but I was young and eager. I truly did put in my all. In my downtime I spent time researching the industry, reading product manuals, underwriting guidelines, all the nitty gritty stuff that no one wants to read and learn about. I vowed I would be the girl with all the answers. In a way I was. As the division grew men who had been in the industry 20+ years came to me with questions. As time progressed and I didn't move up like I thought I "should" I became discouraged. It seemed like no matter how hard I worked I still wouldn't be a good as the guys. I learned that industry and career experience often means more than having a Masters Degree. It was a lesson I needed to learn. That having a degree is great and useful, but it also takes time and experience to go somewhere. A few short years, a degree, and being a knowledge hound does not equal getting where you think you deserve to be. The most important thing I learned that God's plans and our plans do not always go hand in hand. I remember trying so hard to move up in the corporate world while at the same time struggling to become a mom. Crying night after night asking God what is it he wants for me? I'm busting my butt to get promoted and struggling to conceive a child and not getting either thing I was asking for. I'm sure God was rather frustrated with me as he tried to tell me to wait for his timing and all I could to was complain. Little did I know he was going to give me everything and more I ever wanted. Claire came along and changed my world forever. I never dreamed I would be able to be a stay at home Mom. I even fought it and tried to tell God I knew better. That I had to work at least part time to make ends meet. Then he closed every part time door in my face. The money still doesn't make sense, but month after month God makes sure the bills get paid. We don't go without anything we need. Sure we had to cut back on bills and luxury items and we will drive our cars until they die, but being able to watch my children grow and learn every day all day is a bigger blessing than driving fancy cars or having a big house.
For some reason it took me nearly 2 years to figure out a reason why God allowed me to join the new division of my old company, but not to climb where I thought I should go. Now I am able to stay home with my daughter and future son and still able to keep my foot in the door. I sell insurance from home at my leisure to bring in some extra income and do some servicing work for an agency on the side. It isn't a lot, but every little bit helps. If I hadn't felt led to join that division and then given the opportunity to do so I would not at all have been able to work from home. It's a much needed slap on the forehead from God reminding me his plans are always a gazillion times better than we could have ever imagined and just to sit back and let him take the reigns! When I was pregnant with Claire and planning on paying daycare I always worried if we would be able to afford additional children. Daycare is pricey, especially in Houston, and there was no way we could afford daycare for more than one child. God sure did work out that worry. Stay home and no daycare cost to worry about!
Sure having another child will of course cost more money, but truly the first year is relatively inexpensive for a second child. We have all the basics, and I plan on breastfeeding again. The biggest expense is getting an extra bed and few other things like a double stroller. Over all nothing like $800+ per child per month in day care cost. We can hopefully get everything Luke will need for less than one month's day care cost.
Hopefully my rambling makes sense. Just something I wanted to share about learning that God's plans vs our own and God's plans are always better than we could ever imagine. We just have to sit back and let God do his thing and quit trying to tell him we know better than he does.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Life is full of suprises
Unfortunately it will be a few weeks before I can actually share this post. I sure hope I get to share it. Ever since losing our little one in February we decided that there was no time like the present to start "trying" to expand our family. Something about losing a baby we never even knew about made us feel like we were ready to make Claire be a big sister. At my post op at the end of March my doctor told me that if we were ready to try again to call her when I got my first period following surgery and she would schedule a HSG test to make sure my remaining functioning tube was good and open. She also said since we conceived without any "help" this last time she would give us 3 months before starting any type of fertility drugs. Lo and behold the very next day after I saw the doctor it arrived. I called that morning and they scheduled my HSG for the following Friday (the Friday before Easter). Long story short, great news the tube is open and looks great.
One of my downfalls is I have some minor control issues. I need to feel in control so when we decided to proceed I immediately started temping once my cycle returned and ordered some OPKs. Since I have never had regular cycles I had no idea what to expect this cycle. I got lucky and actually ovulated on day 19. I also was about 95% sure I ovulated from my "good" side with the functioning tube. Our timing was good too. Not knowing what to expect my doctor had already scheduled me for day 21 labs to see if I ovulated. Since I only ovulated 2 days prior my progesterone results fell in the "iffy" zone and the nurse said it didn't look like I ovulated. Well, this was one time I did know better than lab numbers so I wasn't overly worried. I really just didn't feel confident about this cycle though. I just had a feeling it wasn't going to happen this time. I told myself I was going to wait the full 2 weeks until I broke out the pregnancy test. Well, I lasted 10 days, haha. In retrospect I should have waited a few more days, but oh well. What really made me want to test that early was the day prior I was sitting on the couch with Claire. She went to get off the couch, but instead stopped and laid her head on my stomach and said "awww". I said "I love you too" and patted her head. Then she looked at me and said "shhhh". She put her head back down for a few more seconds and then looked up at me again and said "baby". I was stunned. I didn't know if she really did "know" something I didn't or if it was a fluke. I will obviously never know if she was trying to tell me something, but I like to think she was.
Anyway the next morning I took a cheap test that was bundled with the OPKs I ordered weeks prior. I *thought* I saw a faint line, but I couldn't tell if it was truly a line or the hope in my head making it appear that way. Ugh. So I held my pee another 4 hours and took another one. The line did appear faint again and maybe slightly darker. I immediately thought this is what I get for trusting a cheapo test. I decided to forget this guessing game and spend the money on a digital. I ran to the store and got one. Then I debated testing again the same day or just waiting until in the morning to take it. I just couldn't wait. I know digital tests usually aren't as sensitive so I wasn't very optimistic in seeing "pregnant" pop up especially since the other line was so very faint. I took it and walked away to get Claire dressed to go play outside in the water. I almost forgot to go back and check it before we went outside. I ran to go look and almost fainted when I saw the magic word "pregnant". I was seriously speechless. I immediately text Brandi and a picture and said "holy crap". Eric wouldn't be home for another 3-4 hours and I had to tell someone! I debated making a big deal about it with Eric. With what happened last time and the chances of this one actually being in the right place and sticking for the full 9 more months all I had was doubt in my head. Thank God for good friends. Brandi convinced me I would regret it if I didn't do something cute to share the news with Eric. So I ran out and found a "Big Sister" shirt. We always meet Eric in the driveway when he gets home from work. It's one of mine and Claire's favorite moments of the day. We are both so happy to see him and Claire's excitement is contagious. I wondered how long it would take him t notice her shirt. To my surprise he noticed almost immediately. He said "what does her shirt say?" I got a goofy grin and said "you know what it says". He said "how do you know". I said "a test, dummy".
So there you have it. Another Baby Westerman is on the way. I will call the doctor first thing Monday to do lab work and hope and pray this one is meant to meet us in early January. I am in such shock still and trying not to over analyze everything. I feel so very blessed and fortunate to have this happen so quickly. So many emotions run through me at every moment. I feel so undeserving of this miracle. There are so many women who have experienced many more trials and hardships than I have on their journey to create a family. I won't take one single moment for granted. (Friends, please remind me of this often especially if I start complaining about being uncomfortable later on). I can do nothing except give the glory to God.
Part 2
Monday morning 4/30/2012 I went for labs and yay my HCG was 108! I have to go back Wednesday to make sure my HCG is doubling like it should. The nurse said the labs looked good and my progesterone level was high enough that the chances of it being another ectopic are low. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything continues to look good!
Part 3
Wednesday 5/2/2012- Repeated labs. HCG doubled to 254, but progesterone dropped to 12. Starting me on progesterone supplements. I had progesterone issues with Claire too. So nervous about the dropping progesterone, but keeping my fingers crossed the medicine does it's job. I nearly passed out when I picked up the meds though. With Claire I was on an oral medication. Let's just say this one isn't oral and about 10x the cost! It is worth it though. Repeating labs on Monday and doing an ultrasound sometime next week to check to make sure the baby is in the right place this time.
Part 4
Monday 5/7/2012 Repeated labs HCG has gone up to over 1800 which is great. Bad news is progesterone dropped again to 9.6. Doubling progesterone meds. Scheduled ultrasound for Wednesday. Panic is setting in. I am so terrified of losing this baby. I don't know if I can handle losing another one. I know God is in control and is the ultimate physician and I also know God's plans are greater than our own. Trying to accept whatever his plan is and know that he is bigger than lab numbers and meds.
Part 5
Wednesday 5/9/2012 Did ultrasound. 5 weeks and 1 day. I had to do the ultrasound in the outpatient imaging center and not at the doctors office. Not too thrilled about that especially sense the tech is allowed to tell me anything argh! I will say though this tech was really nice and was able to tell me a little. She sympathized and said she had been in my shoes before. She saw the gestational sac and it was in the correct place. Did not see any signs of an ecoptic. Wasn't sure if she saw the yolk sac though which she said was normal being so early. Told me my doctor should call me before end of day. Longest day ever! Finally at 4:45 the nurse called. She said everything looked great. They DID see the yolk sac which was great. Baby is in the upper part of the uterus which is apparently better than being in the lower. Scheduled me to come back in 12 days to repeat ultrasound and hopefully see the baby and the heartbeat. I feel some relief after this scan. I was really not wanting to do one this early because I knew I wouldn't see a heartbeat which freaks me out even though it is normal. Knowing that everything looks as it should does make me feel better. I am still terrified of losing this little one. The first trimester really sucks. Even though it is technically the shortest trimester since I was already 1 month when I found out, but it definitely feels like the longest. I remember it with Claire, but pushed it to the back of my mind. I am so anxious for it to be over. I know things aren't guaranteed after the 1st trimester, but the danger does drop.
I forgot to add that we told our families on Mother's day! It was killing me not to tell my Mom. Longest 2 weeks ever! Mom isn't stupid though. I tell her everything and she knew I was too quiet! We made the Grandmother's a cute mother's day card with Claire wearing her big sister shirt. It took them a minute to figure it out, but they were both super excited!
Part 6
Monday 5/21/2012 Today was amazing! I anxiously awaited the 1:00 appointment to see my little bean. Praying for a little beating heart. I see the sack, and the doctor moving the wand around to get a good look and then I saw it, the little flickering bean!! Measuring 7 weeks and 1 day. 2 days ahead of what I thought I was. Not a big difference, but still 2 days further along means 2 days closer! Gave me my official due date of January 4, 2012! I love that Claire was due 1 day after my birthday and this little one is due 4 days after Eric's and 3 days after my Mom's! December is full and I do mean full of Westerman birthdays. So if it comes early there is no telling who it might share a birthday with. I really like the doctor I am seeing. She is being extra precautious with me. Told me I could still work out, but to walk or use the elliptical. No running which is a bummer, but I will do whatever to ensure this little one's safety. She also knows how nervous I am about everything and said she would see me once a week for as long as I want! Wow! So for now I will get to go in once a week to check the litte bean's progress! Oh I almost forgot to mention. When I was pregnant with Claire I never got sick, not even nausous. Oh ,but let me tell you this one is completely different! I have been so nausous on top of having a UTI and I just feel blah. But I don't care. I count my blessings to have the little one.
Part 7
Tuesday May 29,2012. My flickering bean is now a flickering teddy grahm. It's really cool to get weekly scans and see the amazing difference 1 weeks makes in it's growth. Its unbelievable that the little bean now has little stubby arms and legs and a definite head! Measuring 8 weeks and 2 days! What's cool is I have an ultrasound of Claire at the exact same time so I had fun comparing the 2 photos. Doctor told me that at 11 weeks I go could off the Progesterone. I'm excited to be off of it, but nervous as well. She assures me that the placenta will be starting to work by then. Going back in a week to check progress again. I love seeing the little one and checking on it weekly, but I know God has his hand on this baby.
Part 8
I've now seen my flickering bean turn into a teddy graham and now at 11 weeks into a little alien ;-). I call it my alien because it looks alienish with it's little eyes staring right at me. Oh how I love this baby. Claire is always amused with my weekly appointments. I tell her she will see the baby in Mommy's tummy on the screen. Sometimes she pays attention other times she plays her games on my iPhone. The doctor assures me the baby looks amazing! Yolk sac is still there, but could see the placenta forming. Another anterior placenta like with Claire. No big deal just means I will feel the baby later.
The following 3 pictures are weeks 9, 10, and 11.
I go to do genetic testing on Monday 6/25. Not something the doctor usually does, but told me she will let me know whatever I want. Genetic testing will not change the outcome for us. Any baby is a gift from God. However for me and my control issues I would rather know as early as possible. To give myself time to research and learn as much as possible about any possible issues. Of course there is no way to know everything that could be wrong, but the testing will test for major chromosomal issues. With Claire we did the same thing and as a bonus we got to find out with high certainty that she was a girl. This time they offer the same test however it isn't free like it was with Claire. Which is a bummer. I would love to know at 13 weeks what this baby is however since I am now a stay at home Mom, saving the extra money is important and can go to several more needed things. Therefore we will be waiting until August to find out via ultrasound. Eric said he was just as content wating until the baby is born! I told him he is crazy! There is no way I can wait that long! I know it would be an amazing moment for all of us, but so will the ultrasound! We pretty much have agreement on a boy's name however if it is a girl poor thing may not have a name for a while! Therefore name suggestions are welcome! We can't agree on anything. I know it's super early to be thinking of names, but it's still fun!
So there you have it. A recap of the last 8 weeks. When I think back over everything I am still in awe of how amazing God is. Who would have thought that 1. I would get pregnant our first cycle trying. After trying for Claire I was convinced I was in for a long wait. 2. that I would get pregnant with only 1 tube immediately. I know that it certainly isn't impossible to conceive with 1 tube, but I being the researcher I am, learned that it usually does take longer than average. 3. No fertility drugs needed! I had 2 doctors encourage me after Claire that the second one can usually be conceived with no help. Not wanting to get my hopes up I didn't whole heartedly believe it, but WOW they were right! We are so excited to get to finally share this with everyone! With the exception of our immediate family and several close friends we consider our family no one has known. Our friends and family have been so super supportive and without their constant prayers and encouragement I don't know if we would have survived these past 2 months. We are so blessed to have friends and family we can call day or night and let us cry, share joy, and pray with us. You know who you are and we love you!
One of my downfalls is I have some minor control issues. I need to feel in control so when we decided to proceed I immediately started temping once my cycle returned and ordered some OPKs. Since I have never had regular cycles I had no idea what to expect this cycle. I got lucky and actually ovulated on day 19. I also was about 95% sure I ovulated from my "good" side with the functioning tube. Our timing was good too. Not knowing what to expect my doctor had already scheduled me for day 21 labs to see if I ovulated. Since I only ovulated 2 days prior my progesterone results fell in the "iffy" zone and the nurse said it didn't look like I ovulated. Well, this was one time I did know better than lab numbers so I wasn't overly worried. I really just didn't feel confident about this cycle though. I just had a feeling it wasn't going to happen this time. I told myself I was going to wait the full 2 weeks until I broke out the pregnancy test. Well, I lasted 10 days, haha. In retrospect I should have waited a few more days, but oh well. What really made me want to test that early was the day prior I was sitting on the couch with Claire. She went to get off the couch, but instead stopped and laid her head on my stomach and said "awww". I said "I love you too" and patted her head. Then she looked at me and said "shhhh". She put her head back down for a few more seconds and then looked up at me again and said "baby". I was stunned. I didn't know if she really did "know" something I didn't or if it was a fluke. I will obviously never know if she was trying to tell me something, but I like to think she was.
Anyway the next morning I took a cheap test that was bundled with the OPKs I ordered weeks prior. I *thought* I saw a faint line, but I couldn't tell if it was truly a line or the hope in my head making it appear that way. Ugh. So I held my pee another 4 hours and took another one. The line did appear faint again and maybe slightly darker. I immediately thought this is what I get for trusting a cheapo test. I decided to forget this guessing game and spend the money on a digital. I ran to the store and got one. Then I debated testing again the same day or just waiting until in the morning to take it. I just couldn't wait. I know digital tests usually aren't as sensitive so I wasn't very optimistic in seeing "pregnant" pop up especially since the other line was so very faint. I took it and walked away to get Claire dressed to go play outside in the water. I almost forgot to go back and check it before we went outside. I ran to go look and almost fainted when I saw the magic word "pregnant". I was seriously speechless. I immediately text Brandi and a picture and said "holy crap". Eric wouldn't be home for another 3-4 hours and I had to tell someone! I debated making a big deal about it with Eric. With what happened last time and the chances of this one actually being in the right place and sticking for the full 9 more months all I had was doubt in my head. Thank God for good friends. Brandi convinced me I would regret it if I didn't do something cute to share the news with Eric. So I ran out and found a "Big Sister" shirt. We always meet Eric in the driveway when he gets home from work. It's one of mine and Claire's favorite moments of the day. We are both so happy to see him and Claire's excitement is contagious. I wondered how long it would take him t notice her shirt. To my surprise he noticed almost immediately. He said "what does her shirt say?" I got a goofy grin and said "you know what it says". He said "how do you know". I said "a test, dummy".
So there you have it. Another Baby Westerman is on the way. I will call the doctor first thing Monday to do lab work and hope and pray this one is meant to meet us in early January. I am in such shock still and trying not to over analyze everything. I feel so very blessed and fortunate to have this happen so quickly. So many emotions run through me at every moment. I feel so undeserving of this miracle. There are so many women who have experienced many more trials and hardships than I have on their journey to create a family. I won't take one single moment for granted. (Friends, please remind me of this often especially if I start complaining about being uncomfortable later on). I can do nothing except give the glory to God.
Part 2
Monday morning 4/30/2012 I went for labs and yay my HCG was 108! I have to go back Wednesday to make sure my HCG is doubling like it should. The nurse said the labs looked good and my progesterone level was high enough that the chances of it being another ectopic are low. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything continues to look good!
Part 3
Wednesday 5/2/2012- Repeated labs. HCG doubled to 254, but progesterone dropped to 12. Starting me on progesterone supplements. I had progesterone issues with Claire too. So nervous about the dropping progesterone, but keeping my fingers crossed the medicine does it's job. I nearly passed out when I picked up the meds though. With Claire I was on an oral medication. Let's just say this one isn't oral and about 10x the cost! It is worth it though. Repeating labs on Monday and doing an ultrasound sometime next week to check to make sure the baby is in the right place this time.
Part 4
Monday 5/7/2012 Repeated labs HCG has gone up to over 1800 which is great. Bad news is progesterone dropped again to 9.6. Doubling progesterone meds. Scheduled ultrasound for Wednesday. Panic is setting in. I am so terrified of losing this baby. I don't know if I can handle losing another one. I know God is in control and is the ultimate physician and I also know God's plans are greater than our own. Trying to accept whatever his plan is and know that he is bigger than lab numbers and meds.
Part 5
Wednesday 5/9/2012 Did ultrasound. 5 weeks and 1 day. I had to do the ultrasound in the outpatient imaging center and not at the doctors office. Not too thrilled about that especially sense the tech is allowed to tell me anything argh! I will say though this tech was really nice and was able to tell me a little. She sympathized and said she had been in my shoes before. She saw the gestational sac and it was in the correct place. Did not see any signs of an ecoptic. Wasn't sure if she saw the yolk sac though which she said was normal being so early. Told me my doctor should call me before end of day. Longest day ever! Finally at 4:45 the nurse called. She said everything looked great. They DID see the yolk sac which was great. Baby is in the upper part of the uterus which is apparently better than being in the lower. Scheduled me to come back in 12 days to repeat ultrasound and hopefully see the baby and the heartbeat. I feel some relief after this scan. I was really not wanting to do one this early because I knew I wouldn't see a heartbeat which freaks me out even though it is normal. Knowing that everything looks as it should does make me feel better. I am still terrified of losing this little one. The first trimester really sucks. Even though it is technically the shortest trimester since I was already 1 month when I found out, but it definitely feels like the longest. I remember it with Claire, but pushed it to the back of my mind. I am so anxious for it to be over. I know things aren't guaranteed after the 1st trimester, but the danger does drop.
I forgot to add that we told our families on Mother's day! It was killing me not to tell my Mom. Longest 2 weeks ever! Mom isn't stupid though. I tell her everything and she knew I was too quiet! We made the Grandmother's a cute mother's day card with Claire wearing her big sister shirt. It took them a minute to figure it out, but they were both super excited!
Part 6
Monday 5/21/2012 Today was amazing! I anxiously awaited the 1:00 appointment to see my little bean. Praying for a little beating heart. I see the sack, and the doctor moving the wand around to get a good look and then I saw it, the little flickering bean!! Measuring 7 weeks and 1 day. 2 days ahead of what I thought I was. Not a big difference, but still 2 days further along means 2 days closer! Gave me my official due date of January 4, 2012! I love that Claire was due 1 day after my birthday and this little one is due 4 days after Eric's and 3 days after my Mom's! December is full and I do mean full of Westerman birthdays. So if it comes early there is no telling who it might share a birthday with. I really like the doctor I am seeing. She is being extra precautious with me. Told me I could still work out, but to walk or use the elliptical. No running which is a bummer, but I will do whatever to ensure this little one's safety. She also knows how nervous I am about everything and said she would see me once a week for as long as I want! Wow! So for now I will get to go in once a week to check the litte bean's progress! Oh I almost forgot to mention. When I was pregnant with Claire I never got sick, not even nausous. Oh ,but let me tell you this one is completely different! I have been so nausous on top of having a UTI and I just feel blah. But I don't care. I count my blessings to have the little one.
Part 7
Tuesday May 29,2012. My flickering bean is now a flickering teddy grahm. It's really cool to get weekly scans and see the amazing difference 1 weeks makes in it's growth. Its unbelievable that the little bean now has little stubby arms and legs and a definite head! Measuring 8 weeks and 2 days! What's cool is I have an ultrasound of Claire at the exact same time so I had fun comparing the 2 photos. Doctor told me that at 11 weeks I go could off the Progesterone. I'm excited to be off of it, but nervous as well. She assures me that the placenta will be starting to work by then. Going back in a week to check progress again. I love seeing the little one and checking on it weekly, but I know God has his hand on this baby.
Part 8
I've now seen my flickering bean turn into a teddy graham and now at 11 weeks into a little alien ;-). I call it my alien because it looks alienish with it's little eyes staring right at me. Oh how I love this baby. Claire is always amused with my weekly appointments. I tell her she will see the baby in Mommy's tummy on the screen. Sometimes she pays attention other times she plays her games on my iPhone. The doctor assures me the baby looks amazing! Yolk sac is still there, but could see the placenta forming. Another anterior placenta like with Claire. No big deal just means I will feel the baby later.
The following 3 pictures are weeks 9, 10, and 11.
I go to do genetic testing on Monday 6/25. Not something the doctor usually does, but told me she will let me know whatever I want. Genetic testing will not change the outcome for us. Any baby is a gift from God. However for me and my control issues I would rather know as early as possible. To give myself time to research and learn as much as possible about any possible issues. Of course there is no way to know everything that could be wrong, but the testing will test for major chromosomal issues. With Claire we did the same thing and as a bonus we got to find out with high certainty that she was a girl. This time they offer the same test however it isn't free like it was with Claire. Which is a bummer. I would love to know at 13 weeks what this baby is however since I am now a stay at home Mom, saving the extra money is important and can go to several more needed things. Therefore we will be waiting until August to find out via ultrasound. Eric said he was just as content wating until the baby is born! I told him he is crazy! There is no way I can wait that long! I know it would be an amazing moment for all of us, but so will the ultrasound! We pretty much have agreement on a boy's name however if it is a girl poor thing may not have a name for a while! Therefore name suggestions are welcome! We can't agree on anything. I know it's super early to be thinking of names, but it's still fun!
So there you have it. A recap of the last 8 weeks. When I think back over everything I am still in awe of how amazing God is. Who would have thought that 1. I would get pregnant our first cycle trying. After trying for Claire I was convinced I was in for a long wait. 2. that I would get pregnant with only 1 tube immediately. I know that it certainly isn't impossible to conceive with 1 tube, but I being the researcher I am, learned that it usually does take longer than average. 3. No fertility drugs needed! I had 2 doctors encourage me after Claire that the second one can usually be conceived with no help. Not wanting to get my hopes up I didn't whole heartedly believe it, but WOW they were right! We are so excited to get to finally share this with everyone! With the exception of our immediate family and several close friends we consider our family no one has known. Our friends and family have been so super supportive and without their constant prayers and encouragement I don't know if we would have survived these past 2 months. We are so blessed to have friends and family we can call day or night and let us cry, share joy, and pray with us. You know who you are and we love you!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Grandparent Fun!
Last week Claire and I had the opportunity to spend the week at my parent's house. Eric had training out of town all week and there was no way I was spending the week by myself. We haven't got to spend a lot of time in the country this year so we thought it was the perfect week to go! Claire had sooo much fun and Nana and Pappaw's house. She completely exhausted herself and Nana. With 15 acres to explore little girl was never ever bored. Plus the 2 story house was super fun to scale the stairs over and over and over. After the first day there everytime she would go down the stairs she would groan. We finally figured out it was becuase her little legs were sore from going up and down so much, but that didn't even begin to slow her down. She played outside as much as she could. We discovered we had to lock the front door because she would escape to go out and play. My parent's front door handle was just within her reach and they have a big front porch that covers the entire length of their house. Running around on the porch was so much fun to her. She would run around the side and hide behind the bay window and wait for someone to come looking for her and then giggle and run. Pappaw had to work 7-7 everyday so unfortunately she didn't get to see him but for a few minutes at night, but all day she was put on a sad face and voice and ask for "paw paw". She was Nana's little shadow. If Nana went out of sight she would run through the house calling "Nana, Nana'. On Friday Eric made it back from training and spent the weekend with us. Sunday was our anniversary so on Saturday afternoon we took Claire to Mimi's house in Waco to play while we went on our first day in almost 2 years! Claire had so much fun with Mimi! Well, until bathtime and she flipped out because she thought she was going to have to go to bed without seeing Momma and Daddy. Thankfully Aunt Kayla settled her down and she even fell asleep in Kayla's arms.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Play Date Fun!
We are so very blessed to have such amazing friends. What's also amazing is all of our kids are within a few years of each other. Most of my friends are also stay at home mommies or only work part time which works out great for play dates. Let's be honest play dates for the kids are really for the Moms. No not really they are for the kids to socialize and learn from each other, but I can't lie if I said the Moms don't benefit as well. We have so much fun watching our kids play together and having adult conversations with each other! We laugh and share stories our husbands probably would be embarrassed about if they knew we told each other. We vent about various things, share serious things, bounce ideas off each other, pray together, and learn from each other.
I always mean to take pictures from our play dates to have memories later of when all of the kids were little, but most of the time I forget my camera or just plain get caught up yacking that I just forget. On our last play date I actually remembered to take pictures! It also helped that it was at my house and the camera was in my sight! Here are a few pictures from that day:
Playing in the pool!
I always mean to take pictures from our play dates to have memories later of when all of the kids were little, but most of the time I forget my camera or just plain get caught up yacking that I just forget. On our last play date I actually remembered to take pictures! It also helped that it was at my house and the camera was in my sight! Here are a few pictures from that day:
Claire's friend Avery. I love the pure joy on her face!
Claire and Christian contemplating stealing their Mommy's drinks.
Wagon ride in the back yard.
Score! We stole their lemonade!
Discussing how yummy the drinks are.
You got any more friend?
Monday, April 9, 2012
It's the Small Things
My daughter teaches me so much about life. Lately it has been about enjoying the little moments in life. She get's so excited over the smallest things. She doesn't want big expensive things. She can have fun with a $1 shovel and a pail of water. Too often we all get caught up in wanting bigger and better things. A bigger house, a better paying job, more of this or that. We have all heard it before, but all the money in the world cannot buy you happiness. Of course there is nothing wrong with trying to better yourself or your family just remember not to let it consume you. Take joy in the small moments, don't stress over a little extra housework or being a few minutes late. (I know I am always late and I really do try to be on time). The other day I was cooking dinner or doing something in the kitchen. While I'm cooking I let Claire play out back. I open the blinds so I can watch her and leave the backdoor cracked open so she can come in and out. She was out playing in her sandbox and running through the yard with Cooper. Next thing I know Cooper comes inside. Poor guy is getting old and doesn't like the heat for long. A few seconds later here comes Claire. I hear her "I'm up to something giggle". I was busy and not paying a lot of attention to what she was up to. Then I hear her break out into uncontrollable laughter. That of course caught my attention. What had she done? She carried a fist full of sand into the living room and fairy dusted the poor dog. (When I was in kindergarten I got in trouble for fairy dusting the boys, more on that some other time) I couldn't help but laugh. She was so proud of herself and the dog looked so sad. In that moment I could get mad for having to re vacuum the living room or enjoy seeing the look of utter joy and satisfaction on my daughter's face. I chose the latter. Although we did have a firm conversation later about keeping sand outside.
She was so proud of herself for climbing in there. She had a blast splashing everywhere. I decided that maybe she needs a swimming pool. Last year I bought her a blow up pool that holds like 3 inches of water. It is still in good shape and even has a canopy over it, but I get so tired of blowing that thing up. It slowly looses air and by a day later it's time to blow it up again. She didn't need anything fancy so we went and got her a traditional plastic pool. We splurged haha and got her one with a slide. The kid loves slides and Eric thought she would like the slide. We greatly underestimated just how much she would like it. She LOVES it. Eric put it out back tonight and I had no intentions of letting her in it tonight. The sun had gone down and it was close to dinner time. Well, her infectious excitement watching Eric set it up spoke to my heart. I put the hose in it and filled it up and let her hop in with clothes and all. She giggled and splashed. Poor thing was freezing, but she didn't care.We had to plead with her to come inside to eat. Take lessons from your children. They know how to have a blast doing things we might overlook.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Jesus Loves Me
Time gets away from me so quickly and I realize how long it has been since I've blogged. I decided instead of waiting until I had something really interesting to talk about I needed to start writing short entries about day to day life too. Little girl turned 18 months on the 16th of March. Part of me feels like she has been with us forever and part of me can't believe how fast the last year and a half has flown by. Her doctor doesn't do 18 month check ups so I attempted to do her stats myself. She is clocking in at a whopping 21 pounds and around 32 inches. For some reason ever since she was a little baby I always sing her "Claire Elizabeth song" (one that I made up) and Jesus Loves Me before every nap and before bedtime. We rock and sing. The made up Claire Elizabeth song can always calm her down. Ever since she was tiny if she was fussy I would sing her song and she would relax in my arms. I didn't realize how much she loves singing Jesus Loves Me until recently though. I'll be halfway through the Claire Elizabeth song and she will start saying "Jesus" and "Bible". Now when I sing Jesus Loves Me she has to sing too. Most of her singing isn't understandable besides the occasional Jesus and Bible she throws in there, but it is the most precious beautiful singing voice I have ever heard. Every night the singing gets louder and louder and when Eric puts her to bed he started singing it too (don't let him know I told you that) and she sings with both of us. So loud you can hear her accross the house. I know I'm partial, but man that little girl is awesome!
Here are some of the pics taken to document her 18 month birthday :-)
Here are some of the pics taken to document her 18 month birthday :-)
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Mercy
Those of you who know me well know that I am generally a happy/positive person. I don't like to dwell on sad/unhappy things. Of course this does not mean I don't get down at times because we all do. I really do make an effort though to always count my blessings and remember we serve a merciful God. Over the past 3.5 weeks I have spent a lot of time talking to God and He has given me the peace that only He can give. That's not to say I'm still not asking why or no longer sad about everything that happened, but I am thankful to at least feel se peace with it all. God has shown his mercy countless ways throughout my life and this time has not been any different. He was merciful in that I had no reason at all to ever suspect I was pregnant. Therefore I had not had time to become excited and we didn't already tell anyone. I think already knowing and considering the baby a part of the family would have made it harder to have peace about the situation. Not that the baby isn't a part of our family because it always will be, but hopefully you know what I mean. God was also merciful in that Claire is too young to remember anything that happened. My hospital stay was the only nights I have ever been away from her. I am thankful that was harder on me than it was her. God also showed and is still showing his mercy through our friends and family who have gone above and beyond to help care for my little family. I also think I an calmer now. Well, I've had to slow down to recover, but I'm learning not to stress as much over the small things. That sometimes Claire just wants Momma to sit on the floor and play instead of folding clothes and it's ok. I think too that God is opening my heart to love another child. I have been conflicted about having more children for awhile and now having lost one especially thinking of it as Claire's brother/sister makes me want to give her the joy of having a sibling. Just some of what's been on my mind. I also thought I wod share a picture of us from this morning. I can never get a decent picture of the 2 of us and I finally did! 
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