Luke's Birth Story

Our little or not so little guy has finally arrived! This may take me a few days to write, but I wanted to take the time while it is still fresh and write his birth story. I know I have always loved to read others birth stories so I wanted to share his.

For some reason my entire pregnancy Eric was convinced Luke was going to be born December 27th or 28th. He didn't have a good reason why he thought that he just did. I guess he kind of suckered me into thinking the same thing especially once I learned the 28th was a full moon. Not that a full moon has any correlation with birth, but I was being hopeful. I had my 39 week appt on the 27th. The doctor checked me and I was still at only 1cm and 80% effaced. Same as the previous week. She offered to strip my membranes to maybe speed things up a bit. By this point I was open to anything that might work. She even commented about the full moon being the next night and maybe it would help break my water. She warned me after stripping my membranes that I would experience a lot of cramping and bleeding. So we left the doctors office with a lot of hope. Well as the next 24 hours passed that hope quickly disappeared. I didn't so much has even have a mild cramp and no bleeding. I had read that if stripping membranes was going to work it usually does by 48 hours later. The rest of Thursday passed, Friday passed, Saturday passed (with some interesting things starting to happen), Sunday passed and nothing. We tried to stay busy and got the Christmas decorations down, went out to eat for Eric's birthday on the 31st, ran around town. On Sunday we went to church and Eric and the guys went to a gun show and Claire and I went out to lunch with some friends for a play date. After Claire's nap on Sunday Claire and I went for a "brisk" walk. Nothing out of the ordinary. I have walked and tried to stay as active as possible my entire pregnancy although this walk I did push myself to go as fast as possible.

Sunday evening I decided to give up "trying" to make this baby come and decided he would come when he came. I started questioning whether my body knew what to do to start labor. After being induced with Claire I started preparing myself for another induction. I had prayed for many months to not have to be induced again. Not that the induction with Claire was a terrible experience it just wasn't the birth experience I had envisioned. With this most likely being my last pregnancy I really wanted to experience spontaneously going into labor just one time. After lots of prayer I had come to terms that if I had to be induced again it would be ok and whatever God's plan was for my little dude to enter the world was fine by me.

Being due January 4th my Mom and Eric had a little competition hoping he would come on one of their birthdays. Mom's is January 1st and Eric's is December 31st. So after being bummed he didn't arrive the weekend we had "predicted" I decided to look forward to the week ahead and maybe, just maybe, he would decided to share a birthday with his Daddy or Nana. Sunday evening we put Claire to bed as usual and Eric decided to do some work stuff he had put off doing after being off all week. I had not been sleeping well at all lately due to my massive size and read somewhere that peppermint tea is good to help relax. I'm not a tea drinker at all so I was desperate. I sat down on the couch drank my tea and tried catching up on some DVR shows. Next thing I know I hear Eric saying "are you asleep"? I never fall asleep on the couch and some how I did. I guess the tea worked so I headed off to bed. Little did I know my couch nap was probably my bodies way of making me rest because it knew what was in store for me later that night.

Around 3:00 a.m I woke up to go to the bathroom for like the millionth time. This time I felt gassy, but nothing happened. I laid back in bed, but the feeling persisted so I got up walked through the house got a drink and decided to sit on my yoga ball to see if that helped. It was probably 30 minutes later before I realized these pains were coming and going so I decided to use my nifty contraction app. What I discovered was the pains were coming about every 4-5 minutes, but lasting only about 30 seconds. Everything I had read said contractions needed to last at least 1 minute to make cervical change. By 4:00 the contractions were more painful, but still not lasting more than 45 seconds each. I had had a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions over the past few days, but these were distinctly different. As I paid more attention I realized these were lower and wrapped all the away around. I also remembered the distinct pressure in my bottom from labor with Claire. At 4:00 I decided to take a shower and see if that eased them or if they would stop. They were painful, but I could still function through them. I decided before I took a shower to wake Eric and tell him what had been going on. More so if he woke up and found me in the shower he wouldn't be confused. At this point I still didn't think this could be the real thing. Then as I'm telling Eric I had a contraction I really had to breathe through. He gets all excited and instantly knows it's go time. All the while I'm telling him it's probably nothing and to just go back to sleep. Needless to say the shower didn't slow things down. If anything things intensified. Luckily this was the one time sleep didn't over power my husband and he decided he better shower too and prepare to leave. I decided to lay back in bed still not convinced it was the real thing. Eric decides to time contractions since it had been an hour or so since I last had. We discovered they were 3-4 minutes apart lasting 30-40 seconds each. Eric tells me he thinks I should call the doctor and see what she wants us to do. She had told me to call if I had contractions 7-10 minutes apart lasting 1 minute for 2 hours at my last visit. Again I tell him I really don't know what to do since they weren't lasting all that long. I agree to call her after 5:00 a.m. For some reason calling after 5:00 a.m. just seemed more humane to me and not quite so "middle of the night".

Around 5:15 I called the doctor. She told me to go ahead and come to the hospital and we would see what was going on. She asked how long until we got there and I told her around an hour that we first had to find a sitter. Thankfully we have some amazing friends who were all on standby for when the time came since everyone has such different schedules we were hopeful that at least 1 would be available. To our luck and it being New Years Eve and some were on vacation. Brandi came around 5:45 or so to sit with Claire and she even brought my hungry husband breakfast! By the time we chatted a while it was 6:40 or so before we made it to the hospital. If I had any doubts I was in labor the car ride confirmed this had to be the time. Eric thought it was fun to time the contractions on the way and they were now every 2-3 minutes lasting 45 seconds and increasingly painful. They were still manageable with deep breathing. We walked into the hospital (with a few stops along the way for me to hold onto Eric and breathe) and made it to labor and delivery. Thankfully my fabulous doctor already had my records sent over to the hospital so getting to triage was quick and easy. (As it turns out my doctor had been at the hospital all night doing deliveries). While in triage they get me hooked up to the monitors and asked me standard questions. I must say every staff member we encountered during our stay was absolutely fantastic. I was worried since we got there right at shift change we could be in triage for a while, but the nurse stayed around until we were actually admitted.

 My goal was to labor at home as long as possible and not rush off to the hospital. I always heard that sometimes when you get to the hospital labor can slow down since you are no longer in your own comfort zone. I had a minimum goal of of being dilated to a 4 before getting to the hospital especially since I was only dilated to a 1 a few days prior. My dream goal was to be dilated to a 6 or better before getting to the hospital since I had heard that transition begins around a 7 centimeters and that's when things really start to get intense. When I was pregnant with Claire I wanted to go without pain meds. I was determined I would not get an epidural. Well, until one experiences labor it is difficult to actually say how painful it will be. I ended up getting an epidural with Claire when I stalled for a while at 6 centimeters. After the epidural my body relaxed enough and labor progressed quickly. This time I knew if I had to be induced again I would get the epidural. Pitocin is some mean stuff. However if I went into labor naturally I was really wanting to see if I could manage to go pain med free. Anyway the nurse did the exam and praise Jesus I was dilated to a 6! I actually said "praise Jesus" when she said that lol. She said "wow you already did a lot of work". That made me proud of myself for some reason. Needless to say we were on our way to admission and getting a room. Of course my dear husband tends to have to use the restroom when he gets nervous and of course nature called while I was in triage. He debated leaving me to go relieve himself since he felt bad leaving his laboring wife. I assured him he would be much more useful to me if he was "comfortable" and to go to the bathroom, lol. As I said before we got there at shift change and while we got to a room fairly quick it was almost an hour later before I even got an IV. In the meantime my doctor had called and offered to come up and break my water to speed things up if I wanted. I quickly agreed, anything to meet my little guy sooner. Around 7:45 she made her way up and examined me again. I was only a 6.5. Boo! My fear of labor slowing down around 6 like it did with Claire came to the surface. Since I had finally got the IV they had just drawn labs. The nurse told me as soon as labs came back (typically 40 min or so) I could request and epidural, but not to wait too long to tell her in case the doctor was on their way to a surgery then I would get bumped. I said we would play it by ear that right now I was managing the contractions fine. The doctor broke my water and quickly warned me that things would get much more intense now. Shockingly I had about a 5 minute break before my next contraction and it wasn't much if any worse than the one before. I fell back into an every 2 minutes or so pattern and while the contractions may have been a little more intense they were still manageable.

I had read several things that remaining as relaxed as possible through the contractions was key to progressing. So I used a lot of the typical deep breathing and visualization of my body opening up for the baby. Poor Eric really wanted to help me feel better and rubbed my back, neck, etc. I had to kindly tell him not to touch me lol. In labor I am one that just needs to be left alone to focus. Another thing that really helped me was staying distracted in between contractions. I distracted myself, by texting my mom, friends, etc. with updates and general chat. That really helped me kind of "forget" and not tense up knowing another contraction was coming.

Texting in labor

 The contractions never lasted more than a minute. So different than my induction with Claire when they lasted about a 1.5 minutes each. I think that helped make them more manageable too. Knowing they would quickly pass. The doctor came back about 40 minutes later and I was 8.5-9 centimeters! At this point I decided to officially decline the epidural. I knew by the time the doctor made it and got it in it would be too late. Since my doctor had been up all night she went somewhere in the hospital to rest until it was time. I decided that I needed to pee and holy crap! Standing up intensified the contractions a million times. I couldn't lay flat in the bed it made the contractions unmanageable so I did sit up straight the entire time, but standing was a whole different ball game. 3 contractions later I peed and made it back to the bed. At this point I really started to think about saying yes to the epidural. Within minutes I felt such intense pressure and 2 contractions later I told Eric to page the nurse I felt like I had to push. The nurse came running in and checked me I had just a little rim left to be 10 centimeters. She told me not to push just yet that it would hurt worse until I reached 10. They paged the doctor and the room was suddenly very busy with people. Before I knew it I was pushing and couldn't stop myself. They paged the doctor again and she suddenly arrived getting dressed very quickly. I started saying 'I can't do it I can't do it". The pain was incredible. I had a phenomenal labor nurse. When I first met her I was a little bummed that she was very business like and not the more compassionate type like I had with Claire. I am a firm believer God puts the exact people you need in your path and he certainly paired me with the right labor nurse for a med free delivery. The wonderful doctor I had with Claire coached me and cheered me on pushing and the nurse was more of a support person. This time the roles were reversed. I absolutely love my doctor and she was fantastic in letting my body do it's own thing. She was also a calming voice.  If the nurses pushed too hard for me to position myself a certain way she calmly told them it was ok and to basically back off lol. Anyway my labor nurse kept me focused. Apparently when your feet, hands, face go tingly and numb you are hyperventilating. So as I am starting to freak out that things feel weird she calmly told me I was hyperventilating and showed and breathed with me the correct way. If I started to get unfocused she quickly snapped me back to attention. Suddenly I was pushing with all my might and 3 pushes later my little guy arrive with a literal splash lol.( I won't go into any further detail about that). On his Daddy's birthday at 9:34 a.m. 6.5 hours after labor begin, Luke Thomas Westerman entered this world. The instant pain relief the second they are out is so true, however the pain left over in my crotch not so much. It was at that moment I really wished I had pain medication. That pain was so terrible I had a hard time focusing on my little man for a second. Long story short I had a 2nd degree tear and obviously had to have some repair work done.

Meeting my little guy for the first time.

I was so impressed with the hospital. While I was getting my IV I had asked the nurse their procedures after the baby was born. With Claire they laid her on my chest for a minute and wiped her down and she was then taken away to be weighed, examined etc. The nurse told me that hospital policy allowed me to have an hour of skin to skin time before he would be cleaned and any procedures or exams would be performed. We could snuggle and breastfeed and basically be left alone for an entire hour! I was estactic. If I could have a dream delivery that's exactly how it would go. Pain med free and plently of snuggles to enjoy my new little guy before he was whisked away. Having him on my chest was amazing and really helped distract me from the repair job going on down below. The first thing little guy did the second they laid him on my chest was pee all over me lol. Then I felt his little hiney start to squirm and I said "uh oh I think he is going to poop on me too"! They put a diaper on him at that moment, but other than that diaper I got to hold my little guy for nearly and a hour and a half before they took him to be weighed. He was covered in so much vernix when he was born he was a white little dude the nurses all kept commenting on what a "cheesy" guy he was. They also continued to comment on his size. Especially since they put a newborn diaper on him and it was quite snug. I knew he wasn't going to be a small baby so that didn't really surprise me. Claire was such a blondy when she was born I was anxious to see what color hair Luke would have. At first glance while it was still wet it looked jet black. Completely opposite of his sister. After he was bathed and dried it is really a very dark brown.

After our snuggle time was up they weighed him and measured him. 9lbs and 22 inches. I can't remember exactly how big his head was, but I do remember the nurse laughing about how big his head was. I could have cared less. He was here and perfect. Took him a few minutes to get the hang of latching and nursing, but he eats like a champ. We did find out he has a tongue tie and we have to decide before his 2 week appointment if we want to get it clipped or not. Since it isn't causing any feeding issues and he is already gaining back some of the weight he lost it isn't that big of a deal right now. The only thing we have to worry about is if it will cause any speech issues in the future.

Big sister Claire is absolutely in love with her brother. The moment she met him was magical. She instantly wanted to hold him and for about 30 minutes and no one else was allowed to come near him. When someone asked if they could hold him she quickly said "no". She patted him and kissed him and wrapped his blanket tighter. She was quite good at holding him even without my help. Since we have been home she has been wonderful with him. Wants to hold him and teaches him patty cake. Poor guy constantly has a paci shoved in his mouth whether he wants one or not, lol.

Meeting each other for the first time!

Adjusting to life with 2 kids is different. I know it will take some time to get in the swing of things, but we will get there. It is so weird for me to sit back and have someone else cook, clean, and even take care of Claire since I can't lift her until I heal. That is the hardest part for me. I like to be the caretaker and don't get me wrong a break from the housework is nice, it's still weird especially for at least the next 2 weeks. The doctor told me she didn't want me lifting, driving, cooking, cleaning, etc. for the full 6 weeks! I told her that I would try and limit activities, but couldn't promise anything. Not that I don't understand why she told me to take it easy, it just isn't feasible. Eric has to go back to work. Mom and Eric's Mom are more than willing to come stay and help, but I know they have lives at home too. Postpartum hormones suck too. If I get time soon I will sit down and write about those. While society has done a good job bringing light to the postpartum period I still think we need to be more open in discussing the time period that follows having a baby.

Eric thought it was funny to take a picture of me showing to "after" labor, lol

I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful little family. God gave me everything I asked for including laboring on my own, even going 4 days earlier than my due date and having a med free delivery. I still cannot believe I did it. I do think recovery physically has been a little easier this time. It was nice to be able to get up immediately following delivery and the physical pain has actually been a little less. I knew I was uncomfortable at 39 weeks pregnant as every pregnant person tends to be, but now not being pregnant I am amazed at how much better physically I feel even though my body is still healing. It is weird to not be pregnant though. You spend months preparing for this big event and suddenly it is here and over. Especially with Christmas being at about the same time. We prepare and prepare and suddenly it's over. It's weird not to have something "big" coming up. I am anxious to find our new routine and watch my family grow up (but not too quickly).

1 day old

Oh I forgot to add what I did differently to prepare for this delivery. I had heard red raspberry leaf tea was a good uterine toner. So at 32 weeks I started drinking 2-3 cups a day. I think it helped as I had shorter contractions that were effective. I also started taking evening primrose oil at 37 weeks to help soften my cervix. The week I started taking it I went from 0% effaced to 70%. I can't say for sure it helped, but it sure is a coincidence that I effaced after I started taking it. I also remained active walking almost daily and doing prenatal Pilates 3 days a week.

35+ Weeks

I did it! I didn't wait a month to actually update again. On Monday 35 weeks 3 days I had my final ultrasound. It was so good to see little man again! Of course I knew he had grown since we last saw him at 18 weeks, but it's crazy to see how much. At 18 weeks things seemed easier to see and I'm sure they were as he wasn't taking up nearly as much space. My little man or I should say my big little man has grown so much! He is estimated to already weigh 6lbs 10oz! Most likely he will gain around a 1/2 a pound a week so we are looking at possibly close to a 9 pound kiddo! I know the estimates can be off, but considering Claire was an 8 pounder my first, and a girl I have fully expected for Luke to be bigger. I'm just a little scared, lol. I know he will be the perfect size that God intends and as long as he is happy and healthy that is all that matters. The doctor "checked' me to see if anything was happening and like I figured being only 35 weeks nothing was. However she did smile and say she felt his head and he is very low. I kind of figured he was low. I noticed Thanksgiving week he started to drop. Eric started to joke everyday amused at how much each day he dropped. There is no way of knowing when he will decide to come, I just hope he comes on his own and doesn't have to be evicted. The doctor said she will let me go to 41 weeks which would be January 11 at the latest. Luke and I are having daily talks about how he is not to wait that long to come! The 11th seems so far away! I know God has his perfect birthday already picked out though and it is what is best for Luke's health. Here are a few pics from the ultrasound:

I finally got around to taking some photos of Luke's mostly completed room! My mom aka Nana did his bedding and I think it turned out perfect!

Fears

It's amazing how fast time gets away from me! Here I sit here and think the next 5 or so weeks until Luke is born are going to creep by and then I realize just how fast the last 5 weeks have flown by! It's scary and exciting all at the same time. I'm not going to lie I am just a little (ok so a lot) terrified of how to handle 2 kids! I keep telling myself I will adjust quickly and that I won't be able to imagine life without 2 kids. I know this is true, but it still doesn't make the whole process any less terrifying. When I had Claire if we had a rough night I knew I could rest when she finally decided to nap during the day. This time around there is no time for rest unless I get lucky and they both decide to nap at the same time, which is highly unlikely for the first few weeks. I am also sad that my one on one time with Claire is going to be less. I know we will still have lots of time for play together especially the first few weeks when (hopefully) little man sleeps a lot of the time. It's still weird to think that in a few short weeks my world won't revolve solely around her anymore.

Oh don't get me wrong though. I am beyond excited to meet my new little man. I can't wait to snuggle with him and see what he looks like and his personality develop. I know my life will be 2xs as full of love and laughter as it is now. I can't wait to see Claire interact with a sibling. I know giving her a sibling is one of the best gifts we can give her. She already brings me to tears some days with just how sweet she is. Don't get me wrong some days my tears are tears of frustration, but she truly does have a sweet heart. More and more here lately she is loving on my tummy. I'm sure a large part of this is because of how huge it is and it's weird to her, but I can't help to think that she is sensing time is getting close and this "baby" we have talked about for so long will be coming soon. I do tell her he is coming soon and we talk about him often. Her version of Luke is "Upe" and she has started telling me things she will teach him. The other day she was going to teach him how to hop. Today she was saying she is going to hold his hands when he walks. Everyday she says she will give him his paci. I know she will be my little helper and I can't wait to see them interact and their relationship develop. I know as they get older they will fight. I know my brother and I used to beat the crap out of each other, but at the end of the day we love each other.

I am also scared of the whole postpartum process again. I didn't have a terrible time the first time around, but the first 2 weeks I really wasn't myself. I cried for no reason although I was so happy to be a Mommy. I remember Eric asking me what was wrong and I couldn't pinpoint why I was so upset which in turn made me even more upset with myself. I know now it was just the hormones all out of whack, but I'm still terrified of feeling that way again. Plus the lack of sleep and establishing breast feeding. Thankfully Claire was a nursing champ, but her reflux made for an extra fussy baby who just wanted to nurse nonstop from 6-10 every night. I know part of that is normal newborn behavior, but I'm still scared!

On Monday we get to do our last ultrasound. I am excited to see him again! I haven't had an ultrasound since 18 weeks. I am nervous and excited to see his size estimate. I had a dream the other night he came out weighing 13.5 pounds and I went into a deep sleep for a few days because I was in shock, lol. Obviously he shouldn't be 13.5 pounds at birth, but I have a feeling and so does the doctor that he will be a good size boy. My goal is to update again next week with ultrasound pics and information. Let's hope another month doesn't go by without an update because by that point the update could be Luke on the outside world!

Random Thoughts

It's funny I have full intentions of sitting down and blogging all the time. Thoughts and things to talk about pop in my head at such random times. Mostly after little girl has gone to bed (way too busy all day to actually "think" lol). A lot of random thoughts middle of the night when I get up to pee for the 100000x. Then I end up wanting to write them down then and there, but reminding myself sleep is my priority right now. Here lately there have been a lot of random flashbacks to the day we discovered I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. For some reason the days leading up to going to the ER when I was having intermittent pain and the day of constant pain I remember thinking "what if I'm crazy"? What if nothing is actually wrong? I remember having the ultrasound in the ER and the tech quietly doing her job.She only made one statement when she was done and that was she told me to wait just a second before getting dressed she wanted to make sure the doctor didn't need to see anything. Even at that point I should have realized something was wrong and I wasn't crazy, but all I could think was I can hardly walk or talk from the pain and they will tell me they don't see anything wrong, go home, and follow up if it gets worse. (It couldn't have gotten worse, the pain was just as bad if not worse than labor).

Anytime I am playing with Claire and crawling on the floor my mind instantly goes back to that day. Crawling across the floor, praying I wasn't going to pass out from the pain. Asking God for the strength to hold on until someone could come get me. Debating whether or not 911 would be the best option or just to wait until someone was able to come. I hate those flashbacks. It was one of the most terrifying days of my life. Maybe only topped by my car accident when I was pregnant with Claire. Sometimes these thoughts are few and far between and others they seem to come more frequently. It dawned on me here lately that the reason they were creeping up more frequently was had that baby been viable he/she would have been due this month. My dear grandfather passed away last week. My Mom made the statement that he was getting to hold and meet that baby now. That made me smile and my heart ache all at the same time. I am reminded though that had it not been for that short little life we wouldn't get to have Luke. That little baby solidified for us that we for sure wanted another child. We had debated for awhile prior whether or not we wanted more children and that was the point we decided to just let nature do it's thing. Unfortunately for us just letting nature do it's thing doesn't always work out like we planned. I completely agree with letting God be in control of every situation and I know he has been in control of all our good and bad situations. I know God has put certain doctors and people in our lives though to help us achieve our family. If we hadn't had trouble conceiving Claire and just gotten pregnant without medication and lab follow up (which the medication required) there is a really good chance I would have miscarried due low progesterone levels. Thankfully through a thorough doctor and medication I was able to sustain that pregnancy and now have a very entertaining 2 year old that I cannot imagine life without. Same with the baby we lost. That one not only reminded us that I tend to have hormone issues when I do conceive, but without that loss I most likely would not have had the lab follow up once I got pregnant with Luke and discovered again like Claire I needed hormone supplementation. After an ectopic the chances for another ectopic increase so anytime you get pregnant afterwards they monitor your hormone levels every 2-3 days to ensure that a.) it doesn't follow the pattern of another ectopic and b.) that everything is progressing normally. I know that God put these doctors in my path for a reason and they are part of his plan in growing our family. I fully trust and believe that even though it was very hard for us to decide how long to go without medical intervention in trying to conceive our family that God timed each one of our children perfectly and that even though we had medical intervention of some sort with each pregnancy it was part of his plan.

I know this blog post is random and may not make a whole lot of sense, but it's just some thoughts I have had over the past few months.

On to baby Luke news he is growing and growing! He is a mover and shaker too! I remember thinking when I was just a few weeks pregnant that once I reached the 30 week mark I would have officially "arrived" haha. Well on Friday I will hit that 30 week mark! Holy cow where has time gone? On the other hand hurry up so I can meet my son already! Claire is excited too. We have got most of the nursery completed and she loves going in there and talking about "baby" or 'ooke" as she calls him. She has also gotten more intrigued by my ever growing belly and loves to lift my shirt and give kisses and then do song requests while she sits in my lap. She likes to sing Old Macdonald, Patty Cake, and several other songs to Luke. He seems to like it too because he will usually reward our tunes with some good kicks and punches. I go back to the doctor on Tuesday for another checkup and hopefully get to find out when the final ultrasound will be! The final countdown seems to be beginning!

Two!

So I apparently suck at keeping up with this thing! Somehow time has flown and a month and half has passed since I last wrote. Speaking of time passing quickly my baby bear is now 2! A whole 2! At one year old one sounded small only one finger. Now she is 2 and loves to tell you that she is 2. I have a talking opinionated 2 year old! Holy moly!

Right before Claire's birthday we took a little trip to visit some dear friends in Jacksonville FL. This was our first family vacation as well as many firsts for Claire. It was her first trip on an airplane. We were so thrilled because since we were flying before her 2nd birthday she didn't require a ticket and therefore was FREE! We quickly learned "free" did come with a price. She really did fabulous for most of the trip there and back. It was the way back restlessness kicked in and we were all tired and ready to be home so I really can't blame her. We got really lucky on the second leg of our flight on the way there. The flight wasn't full and we had an extra seat which really helped because little girl just happened to fall asleep on the way there.

 Playing in the floorboard and looking for new "treats" in Mommy's bag is the most fun ever on a plane!

 

 
While in Florida Claire got to go to the beach for the first time. At first she wasn't so sure of the whole thing. The sand was "dirt" and she doesn't like dirt. While she loves water, water that kept moving on her wasn't really settling well. Luckily after an hour or so warm up of lunch on the beach, playing in the sand building things and a little help from Daddy she ended up LOVING the beach and the ocean.

 

A few days after we got back from Florida was Claire's birthday party. A huge thanks to my family and friends who helped me quickly pull the party together. This year's theme was "tutu's and ties". I thought it was fitting for a 2 year old birthday party. All the the little girls got tutus and the boys got little bow ties. The girls loved their tutus, but as I expected the little boys really could have cared less about wearing their ties. Everyone seemed to have a great time. We served bow tie pasta and did a build your own pasta bar. The kids played outside on the swingset (which was also a birthday present from us and her grandparents) and we had a bouncy house that our wonderful neighbor let us borrow. By the time the party was wrapping up I figured Claire would have been ready to crash for a nap, but boy was I wrong. A combination of grandparents and cake and ice cream made for a hyper and silly birthday girl. Once she did finally crash I did manage to get almost a record 2+ hour nap out of her.

 

Nana made the cake!

 

 Silly princess!

 

 

I thought this was a fun pic to compare how much she has changed since her 1st birthday!

 

Not much new to report in baby Luke news, which I think is a good  thing. Everything is going smoothly. He is growing big and strong and his kicks are showing me exactly how big he has gotten. I am now 25.5 weeks and time feels fast and slow all at the same time. I have been really nervous about going back to the baby stage. I always loved babies and loved Claire being a baby. Every stage has been fun, but for some reason I have been scared about having a baby in the house again. I think partly because I have a toddler now too to chase after. Plus with Claire leaving the house is easy. No diapers and for quick trips I can get away with no drink or a snack. Only one nap to work around. Leaving the house with a baby just requires alot more thought than leaving with a toddler. Although a new baby will sleep (hopefully) through most outings, at least in the beginning. Recently I got to love on some new babies and it made me feel more at ease about taking care of a newborn and a toddler. At least for that moment Claire played with her "baby" and didn't fuss at all. It also amazed me at how quickly taking care of a new baby comes back to you. I was already of course excited to meet my little guy, but now my excitement just grows everyday. I love the "newness" a baby brings and how everyday things we take forgranted such as just smiling, is such a huge deal with a new baby.

 

Not the best picture (it had been a long day), but a 25 week picture.

 

Big Girl Bed and 18 Week check up

I cannot believe the time has already come for Claire's big girl bed. It makes me happy and sad all at once. We had initially decided to wait until after her birthday to transition her. We wanted to transition her in plenty of time before Luke came in case she had in any issues, but were not in any hurry to do it soon. Well, Claire being Claire, decided she had other plans. Around the middle part of July I caught her trying to escape her crib. I wasn't too concerned as she is a very cautious child and usually won't push too far if something is dangerous. A couple of days went by and I would watch her when she would wake up from her nap to see how far she would push it. Well one day I ran in just in the nick of time to see her teetering with both legs on the top rail. She easily could have fallen off. The search for a big girl bed began. Our first thought was to buy a toddler bed. After some pondering we decided to go ahead and go straight for a twin bed. That way it will hopefully be at least 10 years  before we have to think about a bed for Claire again. After several weeks of shopping Craigslist I found an adorable bed/dresser set that was higher end furniture in good condition. So last Saturday we made the switch. I was nervous how she would do, but Claire loves her night night time and was super excited about her new bed. When we unveiled her big girl room and bed to her she cheered and clapped. She is super happy about being able to get in and out on her own. The first few days she would still lay in bed and call for me. One morning she surprised me by opening my door at 6:30 in the morning grinning and asking for "Daddy" and "nummy nummy" (food). Only one night at about 2:30 a.m. a screaming Claire came running to our door asking for Daddy. We figured it was a bad dream and within 5 minutes and some Mommy and Daddy love she quickly fell back asleep. Fingers crossed everything continues to go smoothly.

This past week we had Luke's anatomy scan. We are thrilled to report he is growing beautifully and a very active little boy. The last 2 ultrasounds I've had and the last time I was at the doctor and she listened to him on the doppler 3 separate people have commented "wow he is an active one". It was awesome seeing him move and wiggle so much, but I'm also a little nervous for just how busy of a boy he will be! Claire keeps me very busy, but she has also been a fairly calm child, well as calm as an almost 2 year old can be. The tech on Monday told me to be thankful the active one is the second child and that way Claire can help entertain him. All joking aside I am extremely excited for my busy little man to get here! He is also growing rapidly! He has consistently measure ahead the whole time. I know exactly when he was conceived so there is no way the dates are off. Nothing majorly ahead, but his head does measure a full week bigger! Eeeek!  The rest of him measures within 2-4 days ahead. I think I may have a big boy on my hands. I'm scared! Claire was 8 pounds, my first, and a girl. The second is usually bigger plus this one's a boy! All I care is he grows happy and healthy and gets here safely. Here are a few pics from the ultrasound. Eric was thrilled the tech labled the pictures. He said he could actually identify what was in them since they were clearly labled, lol.

God's Plans vs. Our Plans

Somehow another month has passed since I last posted. Here I thought this pregnancy was dragging and now a month has flown by without me even realizing it! We did end up to the early gender test after all. In the moment when the lab tech asked if we would be doing the test or not I made a silly pouty face at Eric. I was totally playing and we had already discussed we would be waiting to do the test (which I was totally fine with). Eric was feeling generous in the moment. Just an hour before we went in he got a call that he was promoted to the Conroe store as Store Manager. He told the tech to draw the extra blood for test! I was so excited! I was stressed that when it came time to do the gender ultrasound that the little one might not cooperate and we wouldn't get a confident answer. The blood test is over 98% accurate and as a bonus we got to find out 5-8 weeks early. We are happy to announce that Claire is going to have a baby BROTHER! Luke Thomas Westerman! I was shocked when I heard it was a boy. I always wanted one of each, but was totally fine and so was Eric with having all girls. We knew that 2 kids is what we wanted (unless God has other plans) and no matter what this baby was we were going to be "done". I kept thinking it would be another girl. After loosing the little one in February I kind of thought maybe that was our boy. We are so happy to be having one of each. I'm not real sure yet what to do with a boy, haha. No bows? No dresses? What am I going to do? Leaving the house will be so much faster! I love knowing what the baby is early. It truly helps us as a family bond with the baby more, especially with Claire. We call him by name, tell Claire about baby Luke. We don't say "the baby", we say Luke! I think waiting to find out until the day the baby is born would be amazing, but the day we found out with both kids was an amazing day as a family.

With Claire rapidly approaching 2 it dawned on me the other day that I haven't worked in nearly 2 years! It feels like only yesterday I had a job outside the home and at the same time feels like a million years ago. I worked in a very corporate environment and really did enjoy my job for the most part (of course nothing could every compare to being a stay at home mom). Anyway, before I had kids part of me wanted to stay home and the other part of me wanted to have it all. The family and the career. I really put my all into my job and tried to move up the ladder. For the first few years I felt like I kept hitting wall after wall. Never going anywhere. Several years in, the company I was working for announced they were opening up a new division. Something in me felt led to speak up and say I wanted to be a part of that division. I was so excited when they eagerly said I could be a part of the division. I thought this was finally my chance. God had opened a door for me to climb the ladder. Getting in on something from basically the ground up and being one of the firsts involved. I told myself to put my all into it and learn everything and every angle I could. Looking back I know I was naive to think hard work and being one of the firsts was all it was going to take, but I was young and eager. I truly did put in my all. In my downtime I spent time researching the industry, reading product manuals, underwriting guidelines, all the nitty gritty stuff that no one wants to read and learn about. I vowed I would be the girl with all the answers. In a way I was. As the division grew men who had been in the industry 20+ years came to me with questions. As time progressed and I didn't move up like I thought I "should" I became discouraged. It seemed like no matter how hard I worked I still wouldn't be a good as the guys. I learned that industry and career experience often means more than having a Masters Degree. It was a lesson I needed to learn. That having a degree is great and useful, but it also takes time and experience to go somewhere. A few short years, a degree, and being a knowledge hound does not equal getting where you think you deserve to be. The most important thing I learned that God's plans and our plans do not always go hand in hand. I remember trying so hard to move up in the corporate world while at the same time struggling to become a mom. Crying night after night asking God what is it he wants for me? I'm busting my butt to get promoted and struggling to conceive a child and not getting either thing I was asking for. I'm sure God was rather frustrated with me as he tried to tell me to wait for his timing and all I could to was complain. Little did I know he was going to give me everything and more I ever wanted. Claire came along and changed my world forever. I never dreamed I would be able to be a stay at home Mom. I even fought it and tried to tell God I knew better. That I had to work at least part time to make ends meet. Then he closed every part time door in my face. The money still doesn't make sense, but month after month God makes sure the bills get paid. We don't go without anything we need. Sure we had to cut back on bills and luxury items and we will drive our cars until they die, but being able to watch my children grow and learn every day all day is a bigger blessing than driving fancy cars or having a big house.

For some reason it took me nearly 2 years to figure out a reason why God allowed me to join the new division of my old company, but not to climb where I thought I should go. Now I am able to stay home with my daughter and future son and still able to keep my foot in the door. I sell insurance from home at my leisure to bring in some extra income and do some servicing work for an agency on the side. It isn't a lot, but every little bit helps. If I hadn't felt led to join that division and then given the opportunity to do so I would not at all have been able to work from home. It's a much needed slap on the forehead from God reminding me his plans are always a gazillion times better than we could have ever imagined and just to sit back and let him take the reigns! When I was pregnant with Claire and planning on paying daycare I always worried if we would be able to afford additional children. Daycare is pricey, especially in Houston, and there was no way we could afford daycare for more than one child. God sure did work out that worry. Stay home and no daycare cost to worry about!

 Sure having another child will of course cost more money, but truly the first year is relatively inexpensive for a second child. We have all the basics, and I plan on breastfeeding again. The biggest expense is getting an extra bed and few other things like a double stroller. Over all nothing like $800+ per child per month in day care cost. We can hopefully get everything Luke will need for less than one month's day care cost.

 Hopefully my rambling makes sense. Just something I wanted to share about learning that God's plans vs our own and God's plans are always better than we could ever imagine. We just have to sit back and let God do his thing and quit trying to tell him we know better than he does.