Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Much too fast!

This past week came a day I never gave much thought about. I started clearing out and selling the baby "stuff". Eric and I always knew 2 kids was all we wanted. Regardless of gender we said 2 kids was our limit. First I got my sassy little girl and then I got my sweet little guy. We are very blessed to have 2 happy, healthy babies. So as Luke has started outgrowing much of the "baby baby" items they have started collecting dust just sitting around. I see them as just part of our house. Eric sees them as giant nuisances and as we had to move all this "stuff" he has been asking me "when are you going to start getting rid of all this stuff we are no longer using"? I have held on to EVERYTHING thinking maybe it will be used just one more time. I've held on to all of Claire's clothes and bows so it's not just the stuff Luke has been using. Ignoring the question worked for a while, but they day came when I could no longer ignore it. The time came to sort through it and sell/give stuff away. Ouch! Doing so has hurt my heart more than I thought it would. It somehow solidified for me that there will be no more babies in the house soon.

As hard as a baby is there is something sweet about having one in the house. All the new things that come along with them. Not just the clothes, toys, and diapers, but watching them learn and discover all the things we take for granted. We get excited when they start holding up their head, start "talking" and smiling at us. We cheer for them when they learn to sit up on their own and eventually crawl and walk. As our children grow up milestones grow further apart. Maybe I'm strange, but some nights when I know my little one is on the verge of accomplishing a new milestone I am almost like a kid at Christmas. Anxiously awaiting the new day to come to see if today will be the day they figure it out. So not only did I bite the bullet and start sorting and clearing out stuff, but then my little guy decided to accomplish not one, but TWO milestones this past week.  My littlest one sprouted his first 2 teeth! Since he turned 6 months I had already decided that I needed to get some sort of pictures taken of him. With Claire I was diligent about taking pictures every 3 months. Poor guy hasn't had a professional picture taken since he was born. I didn't go anywhere fancy and just did a cheap portrait package in the mall, but as soon as I felt those 2 teeth come in I wanted one last picture of his sweet gummy grin.

For awhile little man showed an interest in crawling. Getting his knees under him and doing some inch worming. He still inch worms all over his crib, but on the floor it's like he gave up. All he has wanted to do is stand. He will wear you out wanting to hold hands and pull up and down up and down. So proud of himself every time he stands. Well, all last week he would try and try to pull up without holding hands onto something, but just wasn't strong enough. One night as I was cooking dinner and Eric was playing on the floor with the kids Luke figured out how to stand up bracing himself on Eric's legs. I was fortunate enough to get the 2nd time on video (although I'm not sure why the quality is so terrible).

So even though in my heart of hearts I know my family is complete. I know deep down I will always long for "just one more" little one. I dread the day when the kids are grown, but I know no matter how many kids I have they will all eventually grow up. It's just a weird place to be in I think. I dreamed all my life of being pregnant and being a Mommy, that I just can't believe I am actually old enough to be a Mommy and to have completed my family. I look forward to watching my sweet family grow now. The sweet giggles of my little ones when they are in the bath tub together melt my heart. The mornings when Claire has snuck into Luke's room and climbed in his crib and I hear them talking on the monitor. Even Claire gets excited about milestones and I have to closely supervisor her trying to "walk' with Luke holding his hands (he is going to be one tough little boy by the time he survives his well meaning sister). Oh I blessed I am.

No comments:

Post a Comment