First Birthday

Claire's first birthday and birthday party have come and gone. We had so much fun. Her "Paris" themed party was a success. She is very blessed with such wonderful family and friends.  Claire was her goofy self when my parents were here.  She thinks my mom aka Nana is the funniest person in the whole world. She just looks at her and laughs. Pappaw is pretty fun too as he takes her on walks when she is fussy and lets her get away with what she wants. Surprisingly Claire wasn't very interested in her birthday cake. She was terrified when everyone sang happy birthday and took a couple of licks of icing, smeared it all over me and called it a day. She must take after her Daddy. She likes salty stuff, but sweets aren't her favorite. (Unlike her Momma who loves sweets way too much).

It's hard to believe a year has passed. This has truly been the most wonderful year of my life. My little princess has changed me in more ways than she will ever know. She has made be a better person, wife, mother, and Christian. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us and her. I just love our little family. The joy she brings to our lives is indescribable. I know she is very shy around other people and it takes her awhile to warm up, but she really is hilarious and goofy. I try my best to socialize her and help her not to be scared. She does fine and warms up well as long as I am in the room. When I leave however she clams up. I know separation anxiety peaks at her age and I remind myself this is normal. Please don't take offense if she doesn't warm up right away. I promise she will warm up if you are patient and when she does she will bring many smiles to your face. I have really stressed over her separation anxiety. I have felt like I have done something wrong. I still doubt myself as a mother a thousand times a day and talk to God often for guidance. I just want my little girl to be happy, well rounded, loving, kind, and most of all love God. I have to remember that being social and outgoing isn't everyone. I was a shy kid and still am a shy adult. I take a while to warm up to new situations. A very dear friend told me the other day that when she first met me she thought I was kind of snobby because I didn't say much. She said she quickly learned that I am not snobby at all I just observe new situations and people before I jump in. I think Claire is the same way, but as a baby she can't express herself like an adult nor does she have the "social norms" to govern her behavior. She acts on the outside what some of us are doing on the inside. Screaming get me out of here! I know I have been in certain situations and scared where I wish I could scream and bury my face. My Mom also made a good point that since I breastfed Claire she wasn't passed from person to person with a bottle. People love feeding babies their bottle and being passed around and sitting in unfamiliar people's laps isn't something Claire is used to.

A week before Claire's birthday we had birthday photos taken. They are beautiful. Here is a link to some of them if you want to see.  (hopefully this will work) http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.245987295446351.60835.159745780737170&type=1

Here are a few pics from her birthday and birthday party.

Reflections of a first time Mom

With Claire's 1st birthday coming tomorrow I have spent the last few days reflecting on the days leading up to her birth and the first few days of her life. On the 13th I laughed with Eric as we remembered how upset I was her due date had come and gone and there was still no baby. I think I was most upset about having to go to work the next day. For 9 months I had it in my head that after the 13th I was on maternity leave, no more work for me, wahoo! Well clearly God had other plans. A year ago today I had my last doctors appointment, the appointment that I had laughed at the receptionist making months earlier because it was after my due date, of course the baby would be here by then. I'll never forget the receptionist telling me I'm gonna make it "just in case". Good thing she did because that stubborn baby had plans of her own. I had finally come to terms that I would need to be induced only to get to my doctors appointment and be told the hospital was full until Monday! Another 5 whole days! I thought it was a lifetime. Well, after an ultrasound discovering the amniotic fluid was low the hospital had to make room for this Momma because baby Claire was gonna be born the next day!

I also have been laughing remembering how awkward I was as a new Mom. During her birth (warning probably TMI) the doctor exclaimed she has blond hair! Of course I was dying to see it, but at the angle I was at (haha) I couldn't. Eric got to see it as my crazy doctor was giving her a mowhawk mid birth. They put her on my tummy for a brief moment before they whisk her away and I was left with my legs in the air. Eric of course ran over to watch the doctors and nurses check out the baby. By the time I was put back together and sitting more appropriately I was brought my adorable baby burrito. She was nicely wrapped up tight with a dang hat on her head. All I could see was a gorgeous squinty baby face. I was dying to unwrap her and get a good look at all her fingers and toes and every inch of her perfect self. I decided I wanted to nurse her immediately after birth and all I wanted to do was snuggle with my beautiful new creature, but I thought I can't unwrap her, won't I get into trouble? I was sure that if I unwrapped her everyone would scold me quickly that that's now how you are supposed to handle a newborn. I didn't know the rules. I had limited baby much less newborn baby experience. I have always been afraid of looking stupid or getting into trouble that I often forgo my own wishes. It didn't dawn on me until months later when I was thinking about that moment that duh! I was her mother! I called the shots not the doctors and nurses. Yes they give advice and all, but she is my baby I could have unwrapped her and snuggled all I wanted! Well, if God decides there is a "next time" in the cards for us I will certainly get my snuggles in immediately. I also had to laugh thinking about my first diaper change. It was either late the first day or the second day at the hospital and Claire had pooped. Something I soon learned she was very good at. At this point in my life I had only changed maybe 3 diapers ever. Never a poopy diaper. Thank God Brandi was in the room with me because I was clueless. My first thought was where is the nurse? Again new mom and the nurse had changed every diaper up until this point. I thought for a moment "isn't the nurse supposed to change the diaper?" Not because I didn't want to, but because I thought what if I don't do it right and they are supposed to do it? Brandi laughed and said just change it. Thankfully she walked me through changing my first Claire diaper.

I also had to laugh about my first few days at home. I was sleep deprived which added to my stupidity, but we were going to bed one night and my milk had just come in. So at night it was like a really bad leaky faucet. I got my nightgown on and knew I needed to wear some nursing pads. In my groggy head I thought I'm not wearing a bra so what to I stick the pads to (duh my nightgown) so instead I thought it was a bright idea to stick them to myself! Well in the middle of the night it wasn't a pretty picture when I went to remove them to feed the baby. My very full, very sore boobies where in for a shock when I ripped that sticky side of the pad off! Yes, I know, I'm not always the brightest.

There are many other funny moments I like to think about, but these are 3 that I think I will never forget. I just can't believe my pretty princess will be one tomorrow. She gets funnier every day. The other night I was getting her ready for bed and while I was changing her diaper Eric was entertaining her letting her hold her little Bible. We started talking to her about the Bible and about Jesus. A few seconds later she says "Jesus"! Such a beautiful thing to hear your child say Jesus. It truly is amazing what young children understand. I really try and made it point to tell her about Jesus several times a day. My greatest wish for my child is for her to know Jesus as her Savior.

Painting Fun

Last week I was trying to find fun stuff to do outside with Claire. The weather was a tad cooler and the walking girl begs to go outside all day. I thought she had eaten her fair share of leaves and other dirt so we needed something else to do. I was doing my daily fun on Pinterest and discovered a homemade sidewalk paint that when it drys it looks like chalk! It's edible, non toxic, you know all the stuff kids aren't supposed to have. It is 1/4 cup of cornstarch, 1/4 cup of water, and food coloring. I learned the hard way a little food coloring goes a long way because even a week later poor baby's toenails are still tinted blue. Needless to say she had an absolute blast. She spent more time spilling the "paint" and pretending to brush the driveway. Oh and of course licking the paint brush. The driveway is still a nice rainbow of colors, but one day (hopefully) it will rain and wash our canvas a way for us to start again! Here are some pics from our "artwork".