Thursday, September 15, 2011

Reflections of a first time Mom

With Claire's 1st birthday coming tomorrow I have spent the last few days reflecting on the days leading up to her birth and the first few days of her life. On the 13th I laughed with Eric as we remembered how upset I was her due date had come and gone and there was still no baby. I think I was most upset about having to go to work the next day. For 9 months I had it in my head that after the 13th I was on maternity leave, no more work for me, wahoo! Well clearly God had other plans. A year ago today I had my last doctors appointment, the appointment that I had laughed at the receptionist making months earlier because it was after my due date, of course the baby would be here by then. I'll never forget the receptionist telling me I'm gonna make it "just in case". Good thing she did because that stubborn baby had plans of her own. I had finally come to terms that I would need to be induced only to get to my doctors appointment and be told the hospital was full until Monday! Another 5 whole days! I thought it was a lifetime. Well, after an ultrasound discovering the amniotic fluid was low the hospital had to make room for this Momma because baby Claire was gonna be born the next day!

I also have been laughing remembering how awkward I was as a new Mom. During her birth (warning probably TMI) the doctor exclaimed she has blond hair! Of course I was dying to see it, but at the angle I was at (haha) I couldn't. Eric got to see it as my crazy doctor was giving her a mowhawk mid birth. They put her on my tummy for a brief moment before they whisk her away and I was left with my legs in the air. Eric of course ran over to watch the doctors and nurses check out the baby. By the time I was put back together and sitting more appropriately I was brought my adorable baby burrito. She was nicely wrapped up tight with a dang hat on her head. All I could see was a gorgeous squinty baby face. I was dying to unwrap her and get a good look at all her fingers and toes and every inch of her perfect self. I decided I wanted to nurse her immediately after birth and all I wanted to do was snuggle with my beautiful new creature, but I thought I can't unwrap her, won't I get into trouble? I was sure that if I unwrapped her everyone would scold me quickly that that's now how you are supposed to handle a newborn. I didn't know the rules. I had limited baby much less newborn baby experience. I have always been afraid of looking stupid or getting into trouble that I often forgo my own wishes. It didn't dawn on me until months later when I was thinking about that moment that duh! I was her mother! I called the shots not the doctors and nurses. Yes they give advice and all, but she is my baby I could have unwrapped her and snuggled all I wanted! Well, if God decides there is a "next time" in the cards for us I will certainly get my snuggles in immediately. I also had to laugh thinking about my first diaper change. It was either late the first day or the second day at the hospital and Claire had pooped. Something I soon learned she was very good at. At this point in my life I had only changed maybe 3 diapers ever. Never a poopy diaper. Thank God Brandi was in the room with me because I was clueless. My first thought was where is the nurse? Again new mom and the nurse had changed every diaper up until this point. I thought for a moment "isn't the nurse supposed to change the diaper?" Not because I didn't want to, but because I thought what if I don't do it right and they are supposed to do it? Brandi laughed and said just change it. Thankfully she walked me through changing my first Claire diaper.

I also had to laugh about my first few days at home. I was sleep deprived which added to my stupidity, but we were going to bed one night and my milk had just come in. So at night it was like a really bad leaky faucet. I got my nightgown on and knew I needed to wear some nursing pads. In my groggy head I thought I'm not wearing a bra so what to I stick the pads to (duh my nightgown) so instead I thought it was a bright idea to stick them to myself! Well in the middle of the night it wasn't a pretty picture when I went to remove them to feed the baby. My very full, very sore boobies where in for a shock when I ripped that sticky side of the pad off! Yes, I know, I'm not always the brightest.

There are many other funny moments I like to think about, but these are 3 that I think I will never forget. I just can't believe my pretty princess will be one tomorrow. She gets funnier every day. The other night I was getting her ready for bed and while I was changing her diaper Eric was entertaining her letting her hold her little Bible. We started talking to her about the Bible and about Jesus. A few seconds later she says "Jesus"! Such a beautiful thing to hear your child say Jesus. It truly is amazing what young children understand. I really try and made it point to tell her about Jesus several times a day. My greatest wish for my child is for her to know Jesus as her Savior.

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