Friday, November 18, 2011
Often times we get so busy we forget to stop and think about the many blessings God gives us. We either focus on everything we don't have or focus too much on how we can achieve what we want. Sadly I know I am very guilty of all of the above. On Tuesday I sat down to pay our large stack of bills and review our finances. The month of October was a rough month financially for us. Both our cars were in the shop at one point with $1,000 plus a piece repair bills. Claire had 2 ER visits and to end the month off right our garage door broke. Also during the month all 3 of us were sick at least once and several other personal issues peaked. Eric and I were discussing the other day what a sucky month October was. Thankfully while we were in the midst of everything God didn't allow us to dwell on all the crappy things that were happening to our family otherwise it would have been easy to get depressed. Things really didn't hit us until we stopped to recap the month. Anyway as I am paying close to $4,000 of additional bills above and beyond our normal monthly expenses the panic started to set in. At the first of the year when Eric and I decided to take a step of faith and for me to quit my job and stay home with Claire we had worked out our monthly finances for a year. As most of us do we think a year is a really long time and that finances will be really different by the time a year is up. Usually though and in our case things really are not any different than they were a year ago. Again back to Tuesday's bill pay session I started to freak out which is exactly what the devil wanted me to do. I caught myself starting to panic and immediately started to pray. I asked God to reaffirm his will for our family. That I am still supposed to be at home with Claire. Of course that is what I want. I cannot imagine missing out on all the funny stuff she does all I day. Then that stinkin devil started to creep in again saying "how could that be what you are supposed to do when you can't pay your bills". Then God stepped in and told me to remember Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God". So that is exactly what I did in my little kitchen with my laptop on my left and stack of bills on my right I presented my requests to God and you know what? I was no longer anxious I was at peace and know that God is going to take care of my family. I also started to count my blessings. I reminded myself how blessed we are to have such a beautiful and funny little girl. She is the child I prayed and prayed and prayed for. I also remember that while we always get a case of the "I wants" we do have what we need. We have a nicer roof over our heads that a lot of people, we have a closest full of clothes, we have a car in the garage, we have good health, we have wonderful family, friends, and church family. The list goes on. As many of you know I am working for an insurance agency that is letting me sell out of my home with no quotas. Of course this is not guaranteed income. Some months I sell several policies which really helps us out financially and some months I am lucky to sell one. Yesterday the lady who owns the agency I am selling for emailed me. She said that her and the girl that service policies out of the office are overwhelmed with servicing customers. She proposed if I was interested that she send me over service issues (nothing would have to be completed immediately she is aware that I am home with my daughter) and pay me a flat weekly fee and that I would have no more than 5 hours worth of work a week and if I feel I am going over the hours a week she will increase the fee. Of course I said I was interested! She sent me over all the details and the weekly fee ended up being right in the middle of what I expected and what I hoped for. A really fair fee. I am so amazed at how God blesses us and takes care of us. While this income is still short of what we need to stay afloat it will certainly help a ton. God also answered my prayer and reaffirmed that I am exactly where he wants me to be at home with my child. Eric also received his quarterly bonus at the first of November. This money we had plans to put back to help with bills for next year. Of course with our expensive month of October this money went towards paying those bills. At first I was discouraged that we were not able to put back this money, but then I remembered how blessed we were to receive it. God tells us not to worry about tomorrow and he certainly took care of "today". The bonus check was able to cover 2/3rds of our unexpected expenses. That's huge for us. While we still have 1/3rd of the bills to pay for I am reminded that God is going to take care of us and how incredibly blessed we are to serve such an amazing God.