Wednesday, December 30, 2015


Today my precious Rainbow Baby turns 3! Every day with our "Lukers" is a great big adventure. I spend half my day unable to keep a straight face at him and the other half wondering if I will survive raising him. He is funny, passionate, determined, loving, stubborn, silly, aggravating, mischievous, and fearless. He is a clone in so many ways of his Daddy. Not only by sharing a birthday, but in looks, personality, and thought processes. 

He is exactly what you picture in a stereotypical boy. Loves to roughhouse, jump off high things and scare the crap out of me, loves cars and trucks, playing ball, making messes, and superheroes. He is also sweet and loving and if someone gets hurt, even someone on the playground he doesn't know, he is right by their side checking on them. He likes to "doctor" his toys and snuggle when he is sleepy. He is hilarious and still talks like a caveman. He is sneaky, very creative, and a very typical little brother. He is our precious little boy and I can't imagine how dull life would be without him around. He completed our little family.

In some ways it feels like just yesterday he was born and in others it feels like he should be at least 10 by now. It's hard to remember life without him. Claire doesn't believe us when we say she had 2 years and 3 months of being an only child. She wonders where her "Bubby" was in pictures before him. As much as they aggravate each other they can't stand being apart for very long. 

The day my little man was born was a beautiful day in my world. While the outside world was freezing and raining inside I was on top of the world. His birth was healing for me in so many ways. Claire's birth was stressful and anxiety filled. A total roller coaster. That ultimately ended in a heathy baby which I was so grateful for, but not the birth experience I so wanted. For a few months after Claire was born I wasn't sure I wanted to go through birth again, but her hard labor produced an amazing and fairly easy baby also known as a "trick" baby. She tricked me into thinking I was a pro at the whole Mommy thing and to start trying for a 2nd when she was only 16 months old. A very unexpected loss in the middle showed me just how much I wanted a 2nd child. The wee morning hours I woke up in labor with Luke I didn't believe I was actually in labor. After Claire being a hard induction I was in denial that I would actually labor on my own. Now I look back I laugh at myself. After being in labor for 3 hours we finally called the doctor who of course said come in. Then we called our parents, but I was insistent no one start driving (parents live 3 hours away) until I was officially admitted. I was sure they would tell me I wasn't in labor. Obviously when you walk into a hospital in active labor L&D nurses can quickly tell. I was quickly taken to triage and found to be at 6cm and 2.5 hours later my sweet boy was born. Intervention free, no pain medication, and drama free as possible. Everything I so wanted with Claire's birth, but didn't have. Everything I was told I was crazy for thinking that's how birth would go and that it rarely does. Everything I prayed for. 

I joke now I should have known his fairly easy labor would produce the difficult baby. We also joke that because of that difficult baby that's the reason we are stopping at 2. I really wasn't sure I was going to make it out alive in those early days. He screamed so much and NEVER slept. Now those days seem so long ago and leave me often wishing for another baby. I loved being pregnant and giving birth. With Claire I was so excited to be a mommy, but couldn't comprehend the amount of love you have for your child until she was actually born. With Luke I was of course excited to meet him, but knowing the love that instantly pours out when they are born made it that much more exciting.  

It has really hit me lately how big my kids are. While they are both still quite young I'm no longer the Mom with the little one 
either. When we go to the playground Claire is one of if not the biggest kid there. It makes sense when I think about it. She goes to kindergarten next year (holy crap)! Any kids older than her when we go out are in school! Luke is 95% self sufficient on the playground. He climbs, runs, jumps, and even swings himself now. He just needs a little help getting going. I've never been a helicopter mom at the playground, but now I truly can sit back and just watch them play. I'm enjoying this stage very much. Christmas has always been a favorite time of the year and I'm always sad when it's over, but this year I found myself wishing I could freeze time. They both now understand Christmas now and the excitement between them is contagious and I know every year it will be more and more fun, but something about their ages and their understanding this year was just beautiful. Every year as a kid I would tell myself Christmas is only a year away and look how fast a year flies. Now when I think about it that way as a mom I panic a little. This is the only year they will be the ages they are at Christmas. Next year they will be older and holy crap time flies and in my head they are almost grown! Then after my small freak out I thank God for my 2 blessings and remember to just enjoy the moments. 

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