I sure do love my little girl and my little family. Each day I stand amazed at the blessings God has given to me. I somehow have stumbled across several blogs of people I don't know in real life. One I came across on a parenting board I like to read on. I now find myself reading their blog every few days. This one in particular lost her little girl to SIDS in February at only 4 months old. They live somewhere in Houston and their little girl was only a month younger than Claire. Reading about their family, lifestyle, hopes, dreams etc. hits home for me at how similar our families core values are. They are Christians and their strength amazes me. They are able to praise God through it all. Yes they have terrible horrible days and try to make sense of their terrible loss, but they never cease to know God needed their little girl more than they did and has a plan far greater than they could have imagined.
The second blog I have started following only a few days ago. They too are close to home, live in Dallas,are fellow Baylor grads and Christians. Only 20 something days ago they took their almost 8 month old son in because he had been vomiting for several days they were sent home told it was only a virus. Several days later and still vomiting they finally admitted him to do further testing. Long story short he has a very aggressive brain tumor. They were able to do surgery and remove most of the tumor. They were told he would need aggressive chemo for the next year and were given a 50/50 chance of survival. Less than 2 short weeks after removing the tumor they discover the tumor has grown back bigger than it was 2 weeks before. Given the option to start chemo immediately with little hope or bring their sweet boy home for his last few days or weeks they opted to bring him home and show him as much love as they can. They too amaze me at reminding themselves God has a plan and praising God for giving them 8 months with their sweet boy.
Why do I insist on reading these blogs I dunno. I end up in tears almost every time I read them. I pray for these 2 families who I have never met daily. It reminds me how precious life is. It reminds me to hug my precious baby girl a little longer and to cherish every moment even when I want to pull my hair out. It's only 2 months away from her first birthday. I have been having a really hard time coming to terms my "baby" is almost a year old. I don't know why. I guess I feel like my "baby" is no longer a baby after she turns one. Of course she still is. For some reason I never thought much beyond her first year. I prayed for so long for a child that when I got her my focus was on growing her both in my tummy and out. Now that she is almost a year I know I will still have to "grow" her, but it will no longer come from my body. I know just because she turns a year I don't have to stop nursing her, but I do know it is the natural progression of things. I will miss our morning cuddles when I feed her in bed with me and I get a little extra sleep while she eats her breakfast and the way I can sneak off with her for a few minutes no questions asked because only I can feed her her milk. After reading and following these 2 blogs I am feeling much better about Claire turning one. I feel so blessed that God willing I will get to see her first birthday and hopefully many more. Something these 2 families would give anything to see. That I get to watch her grow into a little giggling girl. I am excited for the next stage in our little family. I will miss my little baby, but I have come to learn that every stage has been my "favorite" stage. I know that trend will only continue. These stories also remind me to be thankful for everything God has given me. To not worry about tomorrow that God will take care of us. So hug your babies a little tighter and a little longer and look for the miracles in your everyday life. I promise there are so many every day we take for granted.